It hit me all of a sudden! We have less than a week in the home and then we are gone. ONE WEEK!!
I’m sitting in my office and looking at all the STUFF that is there and I’m wondering “Where am I going to put all this?” Worst yet is trying to figure out what am I keeping to bring to the RV (because I WILL BE WORKING), what do I put in storage (so that I can have quick and easy access to it) and what do I throw away (Really? This is really good stuff).
So I decided to start by taking my 50+ post-it from my wall. Yes, I really did have that many post-it there. Ask anyone that’s been in my office. Four walls and they all had something on them.
I started reading each one of them. Then I went to the computer and started typing my ideas there. Well, that wasn’t very helpful because I became distracted. So I put that away and went back to the office.
I looked at my books. Yes, I still have tones of books that are still not packed (although we already have 20 boxes in the storage). I’m thinking “I need Harville Hendrix and John Gottman for when I write my book. Oh yes! Most definitely all my books from Louise Hay (we’re going to see her in September) and Jennifer Louden (all about self-care).” But now I have like another 3 cases of books I want to bring and Bernard said only 1.
So I decided to sit on my floor and cry. I’m crying because there is so much still to be done. There were so many great things that happened in this home. There were so many things that I’d rather not remember.
I hadn’t realized just how much I had kept everything inside of me. I’m a very strong person but sometimes even a strong woman needs to let go, and I did. It gave Bernard the opportunity for him to be there for me, the support and help me. It also gave the chance for my friends to share with me their thoughts and ideas.
When I act strong for “everyone else”, I take away the joy from others to do something for me, like cheer me on, lend me their shoulder or just a pair of ears so that I can vent. Being strong is also knowing when to let go. So I did. I cried.
I’m good now. I can see a bit more clearly. I feel relieved.
Now back to sorting, throwing and packing.